I have.?
It felt like an earthquake: the very ground beneath me shook. The betrayer was my husband and as I realized that for the previous six months we had lived an intimacy that was actually a lie, I ?wept in anguished rage.
And yet...and yet...
Did I want to endlessly reside in a bitter web of anger??
At the National Institute of Healthcare Research, Michael McCullough, PhD, developed a four-step program to help people move beyond betrayal.
Step 1: Think about times YOU have hurt others. Were you deliberately trying to hurt?
Step 2: Recall when you have been forgiven. How did you feel when you needed someone?s forgiveness?
Step 3: Visualize your aggressor?s state of mind. Explain the hurtful event from his/her perspective.
Step 4. Try and go beyond the event itself to feel the imperfect humanness of your betrayer.
As part of step 4, I began to pray each day the familiar 23rd Psalm:?
?The Lord is my shepherd.??
Only I substituted plural pronouns, so it became?
?The Lord is OUR Shepherd, WE shall not want...??
Praying the entire psalm this way over a period of time
helped me restore a sense of shared humanity with my betrayer. ?
It helped bring into my heart an awareness that
WE-- both of us--dwell in the house of the Lord. And WE, both of us,?
are children of God.?
Forgiving a betrayer does not happen easily. It takes time. And a willing heart.
Not for the betrayer's sake but for our own.
Source: http://e-spirations.blogspot.com/2012/10/can-you-forgive-betrayer.html
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